THE MOMENT OF NAKED TRUTH -AN UGLY SIGHT OF “ONSITE”

I have encountered the word “onsite” at very early age when I was little kid, one day when I enquired the absence of one of my maternal uncle to my Nanu (Maternal Grandpa) he replied he is at“onsite”. People in Hindi heartland hardly use English perhaps because they believe revenge is purest emotion and still hate the language of Firang’s as much as they used to hate them pre independence :-). My Nanu happened to be BA-English of those days and still gives run for my money when it comes to colonial lingo debate with him. I asked him with amusement WHERE? After hearing the word, He said “onsite” Kido, where building work is going on. That day the meaning soaked in my mind that “onsite” is the ground zero where the actual work is on. And I kept hearing lot of interesting stories and character associated with onsite for so many years since my maternal uncle is a Contractor and that bring me to an idea of another blog post to narrate those stories.

Those days I never thought that the word “onsite” can have make or break effect on lot of people’s life till I started my career with cash cow of India Economy i.e. IT. For majority of IT folks this word has equal significance of a pilgrimage if not more. The purpose of their life is to go onsite no matter what it takes. They hop the jobs in the pace the chicken loses his feather just for this ultimate goal and keep floating till they get the opportunity to go. Now owing all this I have had gorgeous picture of IT-ONSITE in my mind and was romancing with it deep down till I get to hear the story from one of the horse’s mouth itself. That was MOMENT OF TRUTH which reminded me one of my favorite Hindi adage “Door ke dhol suhawane hote hai”.

image source-blog.anuragsinghrana.com

During one of our off the cuff discussions about this topic he asked, why do you think people are crazy for onsite? I said for pleasure, fun and also they make some money. With smirk on his face as if he was laughing on my idiocy he replied, what you say is true for customer who goes to brothel but not for sex worker isn’t it? she does it just for the “MONEY” only. I was baffled with the metaphor and asked him you could have picked someone else. He said NO WAY she fits the bill here with perfection, I asked HOW? He answered because she has no standard, no set rules, no self censorship and she can go to any extreme of self misery to make money and that is true for majority of these folks, I have seen it all. And then he opened the Pandora box.....

Story-1 – The Crusader-

He told me story of this gentleman who was in his first visit of Lincoln’s land. He didn’t wash his cloths for a month including the first garments which was responsible for Aadimanv’s graduation to Manav. My story teller was amused and aghast in fact persuaded him to clean that at least ;) the gentleman answered him 4 times saying “I’ll do it next week” and then he returned to his motherland. I told him, well there can be only one reason, he must be a great environment crusader who took ”every drop counts” campaign god damn seriously ;). He laughed and said he was a jerk who was trying to save 10-15 dollars to be paid to use washing machine there, because you can’t turn your bathroom into dhobi ghat there like in India.

image source-boringbabbler.blogspot.com

Story-2 The ridiculously smart investor-

Here the protagonist again came with first stamp of America in his passport. He was living with his 3 collogues and they decided to have contri for food and other household items. Everyone will pay equally and you can get what you like to eat, where budget will be equally distributed. Now everything was fine except breakfast since all 3 used to start their day with different fillers. One with Apple & Juice, other with Lime juice and our Hero with milk and corn flakes. Now after a week hero thought if I am paying for all 3 why should I only eat milk and cork flakes. He changed his routine now he used to wake up early in the morning have his usual filler Milk with corn flakes then after 30 minutes he will have Apple and Juice and then before going to work he will have lime . The story continues and reaches to climax when after a while other 2 started seeing NEW BRANDED Apples, Juice Bottles and Banana’s in their refrigerator. His name was written all over with marker  he certainly knew his stakes and could have had great future in Dalal Street....

Story-3- The adult who never grew -up

In this story the protagonist is again on his first visit of land of opportunities. He didn’t take the insurance before flying for obvious reasons of it being chargeable. Once he reached there his terribly painful lonely time in toilets (he had piles) which was kept in check with medicines here suddenly turned horrendous. Now since he had no insurance he couldn’t visit the doctors there because if you are not insured you have to almost mortgage yourself to seek private doctor’s help, his all saving would have gone. Now his torturous back reached to stage where he had left with no options but to relive his childhood and bank on control mechanism product of uncontrollable called “The HUGGIES”. One day the product couldn’t withstand and stains were out in display for all. The customer lost his patients and told him to grow-up and he was being flown back. It can’t get more despicable than this and if Aussies are beating us owing these issues what choice you have left them with...Daag sachche hai :)

Story-4- The Rich Taxi Drivers-

Well Indians are world beaters when it comes to business and this protagonist is carrying the legacy. He happens to be a senior guy who makes perhaps hefty sum but still just for his business sense fulfillment he came with an Idea. He keeps a track who all are flying from offshore to onsite on weekends when and what time they will land-up there. Once he has this information like a true friend he will call them and tell them that he is free on this Saturday and can come to pick him up. Well the guy on other side of the phone feel guilty and thinks all this while I was wrong about this Man, he is god’s gift to mankind and this very moment the protagonist completes his pitch “if you will take Taxi he will charge 150$ you can pay me 125$” only :) . If on some day your car broke down and you need his help to reach to work, he becomes a Jason Statham of TRANSPORTER who says “Transportation is precise Job” bring the 2 $ each.

The lit goes on and stories are endless.... from eating Indian brought Maggi for entire month and getting ill almost to close death situation to a point where monk like customer who never had any historical record of escalations finally wrote to account manager that next time when you send people onsite please ask them to use deodorant at least. You may and may not agree to this but these are true stories from the account of one of the eye witness.......YES THIS IS THE UGLY SIGHT OF “ONSITE” there would be good one as well which one day I’ll narrate with my personal experience.... ;);)